Dexerto / Sassy Chap GamesDate Everything’s premise is pretty weird. You’re given glasses that bring your furniture to life, and then, you can romance them.
This is a dating sim that takes place entirely in your home. You’re able to turn your furniture into people and fall in love, forge enemies, or make friends with them. This led to me looking at my kitchen items, thinking, who would be the most ‘my type’ out of the fridge, fruit basket, coffee machine, and toaster. Turns out, it was the fruit basket.
The twist (aside from the fact you’re dating furniture – how many twists does a game need?) is that these glasses weren’t exactly procured legally, so you’ll have to fall in love while hiding from an increasingly desperate (and extremely unprofessional) boss who’s attempting to get them back.
Oh, and you work for a shifty corporation that’s slowly descending into AI and has you in a sort of ‘job limbo,’ but at least it means you’re free to romance your table, as we explored in our hands-on preview.
Dexerto / Sassy Chap GamesDating furniture might be repetitive but it’s never boring
Date Everything! is all about falling in love with the furniture you discover around your home, and while its premise is downright odd, it easily translates to a fantastic adventure. Don’t worry, though, you’re not trying to fall in love with a table that has sprouted eyes and a mouth, instead, they’re hot, human-like characters with flirty dialogue to boot.
You won’t be surprised to know that this game was created by voice actors, given the number of amazing characters, stellar writing, and an impressive cast that brings the furniture to life. However, there’s more to it than just its romance options.
While it’s mainly about falling in love, there are still plenty of side quests to keep you engaged, alongside a slow but ever-progressing main story that provides a sort of forward trajectory rather than each day being the same.
Dexerto / Sassy Chap GamesComplementing that are the limitations placed on your Dateviators (yes, this game is filled with puns). You’re only allowed to speak to five pieces of furniture a day to fall in love and up your specs, making your ‘rizz’ a little more effective.
Initially, I was concerned that this would get repetitive, but Date Everything! is far from boring thanks to its story, voice actors, and over 100 different romance options.
A love letter to voice acting
As previously mentioned, this is a game made by voice actors, and it feels like a love letter to that profession. Each character is voiced by very talented VAs ( Ben Starr, Steve Blum, Ashley Johnson, Felicia Day, Laura Bailey, and more), all of whom represent their own unique and expertly written personalities, bringing the furniture to life…literally.
Dexerto / Sassy Chap GamesBut that is all owed to the stellar writing and the touching little side quests you’re regularly sent on. Like the time the fruit basket and I went to an ice-cream shop run by the fridge that ended up being an adorable date… no really.
Ultimately, while the side quests and story are there to keep you hooked, it was the talent that really impressed. Every character feels unique, every voice is flirtatious and bound to make at least a few swoon, and every piece of furniture has a romanceable option, which is both insane and impressive.
Sure, if you’re not a fan of dating simulators, then Date Everything! might not be the love you’re looking for, but if you’re a dabbler (like me) or someone who loves this genre, then strap in for a wild, wacky, and fantastic ride.
